Ah, yes. Be human. I hear people saying that an awful lot. Be transparent. Be genuine. Be real. Be human.

What does that mean, exactly?

I’ve had occasion to think about that a great deal of late. So what does it mean?

Is it acting irrationally when your heart aches?
Is it feeling remorseful for those actions?
Is it pulling a child out of harm’s way, even though you might sacrifice “journalistic integrity”? (Hat tip to Anderson Cooper)
Is it laughing too loudly, though it might be socially unacceptable?
Is it feeling annoyed when people make mistakes?
Is it taking a deep breath and helping them correct those mistakes?
Is it shedding a tear when a friend is in pain?
Is it shedding more when you realize that you can’t help?
Is it the capacity to love … no matter what?

The answer to each of these questions is, of course, YES. As humans, sometimes we make mistakes. We sometimes behave irrationally. But we do so because we’re human. We’re imperfect. And that’s a good thing.

In Social Media, being “human” is all the buzz. What I think this means is that we should all just be ourselves. We shouldn’t “auto-do” everything (people can smell a ‘bot a mile away). We should make it personal. We shouldn’t try to mold ourselves into shapes that someone else is looking for. If we do that, we’re only hurting ourselves.

In life, we should do the same. Laugh hard and often. Cry when we need to. Make mistakes. Learn from them. Most of all, love. Do it without fear. Love passionately and without regret. If we can’t, we’re not human.

Anger. Fury. Outrage.

These are just a few words that describe my feelings at this moment.

Typically, when I am feeling intense emotion about a particular subject, I find it best to back away from my computer. To steer clear of my blog, Twitter, Facebook … anywhere that I might say something I might later regret.

Not this time.

This time, I am harnessing my feelings, making sure that my absolute white-hot rage is captured.

As many of you may know, I live in the beautiful state of West Virginia. I didn’t grow up here, but it’s become my home. It is the place where I’ve chosen to raise my children. It is one of the most indescribably lovely places on Earth (when John Denver describes it as “almost Heaven”, there’s a reason). I love my new home state and I am very, very proud to live here.

So, when I hear someone disparaging it, I tend to get a little upset. Imagine my shock and outright indignation when I read the following “news” item, bearing the heading “West Virginia Discovers The Internet” from NBC Washington’s Chris Needham:

Now the news that West Virginia has put a whole bunch of its important vital records on the Internet certainly raises the possibility of all kinds of cheap shots at our yokel neighbors to the West.

But that’d be completely unfair, a gross stereotype about our neighbors’ tar-paper shacks, which probably don’t even have enough electricity to power a Commodore anyway.

But if they did have one, they’d be able to log on to the new Web site and do all kinds of research, says the Herald-Mail. Here, for example, is a listing of all the birth certificates for people named Cletus. Here’s a listing of all the Twittys who’ve died in the state. And here’s a listing of all the weddings in the state where both the bride and the groom had the last name “Smith.”

Isn’t it enough that they have to poop in their backyard, running through the cold, fearing that the trap door on their red flannel pajamas should pop open early, exposing their nether regions to the bite of the winds? Why do we have to make fun of them for their misfortune?

So we won’t.

The site has all the data they have that’s legally shareable. Birth certificates can’t be shared for 100 years; death certificates are on ice for 50. Records from the Civil War aren’t available, as well as a few gaps where fire or flood took out a courthouse or two.

But if you’ve ever wondered what Hank Williams’ death registry looks like (you can put your hand down), now you can die happy. (And have someone from WV look at it 50 years later, once the Internet finally comes to the state.)

Yokels? Outhouses? Inbreeding? Seriously?

It’s unclear whether Mr. Needham was attempting satire or whether he actually believes the stereotypes (not one of which he missed, by the way) that he was spewing in his article news written excrement. One thing is certain, however. Mr. Needham’s piece is blatantly offensive. He has made sweeping generalizations about an entire body of people. About a place of which he clearly knows nothing.

Each and every state in our union has its share of poverty. Each has stereotypes with which it deals on a daily basis. For West Virginia to be singled out time and again is wholly unacceptable. That a major news outlet felt that posting this article was OK is patently offensive.

NBC Washington, and Mr. Needham himself, should not only make a full retraction (sorry, folks, removing the post from your website isn’t enough), but shout an apology from the rooftops.

I am proud of West Virginia. I am proud to be raising my family here. I am proud to call it my home.

Thanks to my good friend, Sarah Cooper, for the exquisite photos and the heartfelt video, above.

Honestly. The things with which people take issue.

A few days ago, after a return from business travel (actually, the end of a seemingly endless series of business trips), I was approached by someone whom I know, albeit casually.

“Wow! You travel a LOT,” she said. “Who takes care of your kids?”

Kind of a strange question, right?

I think so, too. Here’s the thing, though. I get asked questions like this ALL THE TIME.

Not, “Do you have clients in _______?” or “What sort of business do you do?” but “Who takes care of your children?”

Really?

Now, I associate with lots of men who travel for their jobs. I’d be willing to bet that not once — not ONCE — has any of them ever been asked this question. “Gee, that must be tiring, huh?” or “That’s such an interesting city; did you eat at any good restaurants?” maybe. But never are their duties or responsibilities as parents called into question.

Do I travel a lot for my business? Yes, I do. I have clients scattered all over the country, and I think it’s extremely important to have face-to-face time with them. I attend business conferences, sometimes to speak, always to learn from others and to interact in person (there are connections there that you simply cannot make through means like Twitter or Facebook or comments in a blog).

Yes. I travel. I made a commitment when I started my business not to do anything halfway. To do things as well as they can be done, or not do them at all. If that means a few days away from my family here and there, I’m OK with that.

Do I miss my kids when I travel? ABSOLUTELY. They’re great kids and I love them dearly. When I’m home with them, I never skip an opportunity to tell them so. So, do I think — even for one second — that when I go away for 2 or 3 days, they’ll suddenly be floundering in a sea of confusion? Do I believe that they’ll nervously wonder if I still love them?

Not even for ONE SECOND.

So, I take serious issue with people who ask me — and any other hard-working businesswomen, for that matter — questions borne of an era whose day has long-since passed. I also take issue with the notion that men — fathers — aren’t at all bothered by traveling away from their families. I take issue with the fact that any distinctions are made at all.

I take my work very seriously. That means making sacrifices. Everyone who works hard for a living makes one kind or another. The fact that I do, however, in no way diminishes my commitment to my family.

Has this happened to you? Ladies? Guys? What are YOUR thoughts on the subject? Have you ever been called for traveling?

GAME ON.

No matter your political affiliation, nor your views on war of any sort, we cannot let the efforts of our men and women in uniform go unrecognized. These brave, selfless people hold themselves up with honor, and far too many have made the ultimate sacrifice. So today, whether you recognize Veteran’s Day, Armistice Day or Remembrance Day, be sure that you DO recognize it.

To our servicemen and women, to those that fought in WWI, in those conflicts before and after, we salute you.


IN FLANDERS FIELDS,
by Lieutenant Col. John McRae, MD (1872-1918), Canadian Army

In Flanders Fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead.
Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

Have you ever heard the expression, “Open mouth, insert foot”? Do you know what it means? Well, if someone’s saying it to you, you’ve probably said something you shouldn’t have.

It begs the questions: Do you think before you speak? Do you think before you tweet? Before you send an email?

I’m often astounded by the things that some people will say in a public forum (And if you think email isn’t public, guess again. Once you’ve clicked “send”, it’s out there and can be shared with anybody.) Whether it’s drunken blathering online after you’ve had one too many or eviscerating peers (or anyone else, for that matter) because you’ve had a bad day (or because you’ve let your emotions get the better of you), the stuff that people put out for public consumption is nothing short of dizzying.

Turn on your inner monologue.

First of all, if you’ve been drinking, just put your iPhone AWAY. Power it down. Give it to a designated texter. Something. When your judgment and inhibitions have gone out the window, your reputation could easily follow them.

If someone says something that you view as inflammatory — something that gets your hackles up — take a few steps away from your computer before you even consider a response. Sure, it can sometimes feel good to craft incendiary blog comments, emails that tell your nemesis what a jackhole he or she is, or tweets that REALLY put people in their place. I guarantee you, though, the moment you click “send”, you’ll be awash in a tidal wave of regret. EDIT …  UNDO! Control Z! Sorry. It’s already out there. I don’t care how quick you think you might be with your mouse, even if you click “delete”, there’s someone out there who’s saved your idiocy for posterity and who’s likely more than happy to shine a spotlight on you and your big mouth.

Some of the worst offenses come from people who blatantly disrespect others, who make a habit of belittling people because they think it makes them look smart. It doesn’t. If you have a problem with someone, or with something they’ve done — whether you know them or not — do them the courtesy of expressing so OUT of the public forum. Send an email. Make a phone call. Do something other than publicly ridiculing them. The first reason is that it’s just the decent thing to do. The second reason is that when you make it a practice to treat people poorly in the public domain, it doesn’t so much hurt their reputation as it makes you look like a bullying jerk.

So people. PLEASE use your heads. If you’re unsure about something you’re getting ready to say, DON’T say it.

Think before you tweet.

Photo credit: platinumblondelife

This isn’t the post that I intended to write today. Sure, I’ll probably clickety-clack that one out, as well, but I’ve got some other things that are weighing heavily on my mind.

Why are we so keen to follow the crowd? Why do we have such a strong need to do what everyone else does or says? Whether in our personal or professional lives, why, why, WHY do we do this?

This is a fact of human nature that really irks me, in general, but lately, it’s something that’s had epithets and maledictions bubbling just below the surface, just waiting to be unleashed on the next person who says something to the effect of “my best friend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid …” (unless I happen to be watching Ferris Bueller). What’s the reason for this heightened level of aggravation?

I’ll tell you.

There is a little boy in Colorado. He’s five years old. Healthy. Active. Full of inquisitiveness and fun. His name is AJ, and he also happens to be the son of one of my dear friends. About a week and a half ago, AJ came home from school, complaining that he had a scratchy throat. Two days later, he was admitted to Children’s Hospital in Denver, where he’s been ever since.

AJ has H1N1. Swine Flu.

Over the course of the week or so that he’s been in the hospital, he has been on a ventilator, had kidney failure, collapsed lungs, strokes (yes, strokes … plural), not to mention a great deal of pain. His parents, while strong, are absolutely grief-stricken.

Now, before anyone gets all up in arms, the point of this post (and I do have one, I swear) is NOT to jump into the fray and cause unnecessary frenzy about H1N1. Reacting to any situation with panic is, generally speaking, ill-advised. AJ’s case is, most assuredly, more severe than most will experience, if they get hit with the flu — standard issue or H1N1 — at all. The percentage of people who will have symptoms even close to these is very, very small. The ones who do, however, will most likely be children.

So, logic would dictate that if there were a way to avoid having kids subjected to pain like this, a chance to give them a little extra life insurance, parents would take it, right? WRONG.

People are so caught up with “So-and-so said that the flu shot is dangerous!” or “I heard such-and-such say that there’s really nothing to be concerned about …” that they’re not taking the time to get the FACTS. The facts are that while most won’t have to bear the full brunt of H1N1, it has the potential to be very serious. The facts are that the vaccine for H1N1 has been made safely, in the same way that flu vaccines have been made for years. If people could look past the hype and rumor-mongering, logic and common sense just might prevail (though I’m not holding my breath).

Me? I tend not to follow crowd mentality, not in my personal life, nor in my professional life. For my family, friends and for myself, I try to make decisions and do things that are best for US. For my clients, I try to help them make decisions and develop strategies that are best for THEM.

What are your thoughts on this? Do you follow the so-called “wisdom” of the crowd?

Oh, and get a flu shot. The moment it’s available, my kids and I will be front-and-center getting ours.

Today, I’m happy to introduce you to The Constwellations! A project I’ve been working on for some time, The Constwellations explores how we engage with Twitter (and the social web, on the whole) … how and why we use it. Take a look at the short video below, then take a look at The Constwellations in greater detail. I’d love to hear what you think. After all, we’re in this together, right?

I am often struck, in the online space, by how quick people are to judge others. By how people rush to point out how someone else is doing it wrong. Oh, yes. Taking cheap shots, ridiculing others, or otherwise belittling people seems to be a favorite pastime ’round The Interwebs.

“YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG!”

While I have no interest in spoiling anyone’s fun (I love fun!), I have a couple of questions, namely: “What is this accomplishing?” and “How is this helping?”

The interesting thing about this is that a great many of the people doing it are doing so in the name of bettering social media. It’s interesting since what they’re doing is distinctly anti-social.

So, I have a suggestion.

If you happen upon a site that you think needs improvement or observe someone doing something in a way that [you think] could stand a little improvement, try encouraging. Make a suggestion. HELP.

If you can’t do that, then you’re doing it wrong.

I don’t understand all of this … sniping.

When it comes to Facebook, Twitter, FriendFeed … whatever … each of us has a favorite. But what’s with all of the vitriol? Grown people, professional people are practically foaming at the mouth over things as small as Facebook adding @ tagging as a feature. It’s the tech set equivalent of “Oh, yeah?? I know you are, but what am I?!?” I have seen more posts, tweets and what-have-you in the past week or so whose subjects are something to the effect of “Facebook will NEVER be Twitter” than I can shake a stick at.

Facebook will never be Twitter? OK. Suits me just fine. I would never WANT Facebook to be Twitter, wouldn’t want LinkedIn to be FriendFeed, or Blip.Fm to be anything except what it is … and I’ll tell you why.

Each of these social networks has something that makes it special, something that sets it apart from each of the other sites. Twitter is fast-paced, great for sharing great information and staying abreast of what’s happening RIGHT NOW. It’s great for connecting with like-minded people, but doesn’t really provide the forum to develop those connections into actual friendships. Facebook, on the other hand, is a bit slower, but where it lacks in speed, it totally delivers when you want to forge a stronger connection.

Each social network has something that makes it unique. Each can provide value for you — both professionally and personally — depending on the way that you use it. Each of us has a favorite. And each of us should remember that what WE think is right and the best doesn’t necessarily jive with what others think.

So, really. People just need not to get their BVDs all in a bunch over things like this. There’s room on the playground for everyone.

Responsiveness.

How are you with that? If someone sends you an email, leaves you a voice mail message, text, or attempts to connect with you in some way, how and when do you respond? Do you respond at all?

What’s your order of importance?

Clients? Friends? Sure, those are a given.

But riddle me this: if someone reaches out to you in a personal way, even if you don’t know them personally, do you take the time to respond? Or do you ignore them? Think about this. Each of us espouses the value of making connections. We use lofty speech about being a part of a community; extol the benefits of being human.

Do we practice what we preach?

Think about how even the smallest message might impact someone. It might not seem like a big deal, but taking a few short minutes (if it takes even that long) of your time to respond to someone can make a huge difference to them.

The exchange that we all say we want in our communities is idealistic, to be sure. When someone reaches out, shouldn’t we do our best to reach back?